Memory as a Tool for Reinvention

Last week, I had the privilege of speaking to a professional women’s group at a New York City-based investment firm.

I focused on the habits that often hold smart, accomplished women back. Over the past eleven years as a coach, I’ve seen these patterns surface again and again with my women clients. (They show up for men too, though sometimes in different ways.)

Reliving Memories

As I prepared for the talk, I felt the sting of old memories - flashes of my corporate career and the nagging sense that I should have been doing better. For a moment, reliving those experiences left me feeling sad.

But I quickly caught myself. Memory is one of our higher mental faculties, and I’ve spent years studying how to use it effectively. So I reframed the story: I had an impressive career in the corporate world. I made the best decisions I could with the self-awareness I had at the time. And those experiences now allow me to help my clients develop habits that move their careers forward.

I wasn’t denying my memories. Rather, I was rewriting the meaning so that it serves me, not diminishes me.

Memory is Creative

I used to think that memories are like movies replaying what really happened. I've learned that most people think this. We assume what we recall is a perfect record of the past. But here is the truth: your memory is not a camera. Instead, think of it like a creative artist.

Research shows that memory does not just retrieve the past, it also reconstructs it.   Every time you recall an event, your brain pieces it together using old information mixed with your current beliefs, present emotions, and even new facts you have picked up since then.

Dr. Elizabeth Loftus, a leading expert on memory, demonstrated that memories can be influenced and reshaped without you even realizing it. (1) 

You Are Not Bound By Your Past

What does this mean for you? It means you are not bound by your past. If memory is flexible, then the meaning you attach to it can change too. And when you change that meaning, you change how the past influences your future.

Here's what I mean:

Two people can experience the same setback: a missed promotion, a failed project, a public embarrassment. One person replays it as proof that they are not capable. The other rewrites it into a lesson that makes them stronger and wiser. The events might be similar, but the stories are different. And the story you choose shapes how you think and feel about yourself.

So how do you work with the mental faculty of memory? One powerful method comes from Neville Goddard. He called it the “pruning shears of revision.” It is a simple but profound practice, and the same technique I applied in my earlier example. You revisit an old memory in your imagination, not as it happened, but as you wish it had happened. You create a new ending. This is not about denying reality. It is about loosening the emotional grip of the old version so that it no longer controls you.

Learn From Michael Jordan

Think about Michael Jordan. He missed more than 9,000 shots in his career. He lost nearly 300 games. Twenty-six times he was trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. For most people, those could be memories of failure. But Jordan did not let them define him. He reframed them as fuel. He said, “I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” His success was not despite those memories. It was because he chose their meaning. (2)

Here is a simple exercise to try today:

• Pick one memory that still stings.
• Close your eyes and replay it, but this time, reimagine it with a positive meaning. 
• Feel that new interpretaton as vividly as you can.
• Repeat this often enough, and you will notice something powerful: the old emotional charge begins to fade, replaced by a sense of possibility.    

Turn Liabilities Into Assets

When I work with executives and business leaders, this is one of the most transformative practices we use. They take experiences they once saw as liabilities and re-interpret them into assets. Why? Because those revisions change how they show up in meetings, interviews, and negotiations.

You cannot change the event. But you can change what it means. And that is the real power of memory. Use it well and you will discover something profound: your past does not predict your future. Your interpretation does.

So take a moment today. Choose one memory you have been dragging like a weight and ask yourself, “What else could this mean?” Then choose the interpretation that fuels you instead of drains you. Because when you change the story you tell about your past, you change the trajectory of your future.

Want to learn more about your higher mental faculties? Watch my video: 6 Mental Superpowers - Control Your Mind here:

Sources:  

(1) American Psychological Association - Speaking of Psychology Podcast Episode 91:  How memory can be manipulated with Elizabeth Loftus PhD.  Accessed on September 14, 2025 https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/memory-manipulated

(2) Scott Cole YouTube channel. Michael Jordan Failure Commercial. Accessed on September 14, 2025 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JA7G7AV-LT8