3 Steps to Shift from Overwhelm to In-Charge

"How do I simplify what's on my plate right now?" is a question I often hear.

Feeling overwhelmed was a frequent companion during the years I was working full time, while also raising my children. It sometimes left me feeling like everything was an uphill battle. Learning to stay in charge of myself took some practice. Here are three steps I learned and, in turn, I recommend to my clients.

Before diving in, let's pause and consider: what exactly is the feeling of overwhelm?

Feeling overwhelmed often comes from having too much happening at once. It starts with your mind trying to juggle an overload of thoughts, ideas, and tasks all at the same time —something it simply isn’t designed to do. In contrast, focus is the hallmark of highly effective people. Focus means channeling your energy and bringing a narrow, concentrated attention that cuts through the noise and chaos.

 Step 1 - Be very clear about your goals

And here I'm reminded of the saying, "When everything feels like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top."

What are your goals and priorities?  What's your "view from the top"? These are important questions because if you're not clear about your goals, you can end up being pulled in a lot of different directions.  And being thinly stretched contributes to feeling overwhelmed.

It is vital to have clear, specific goals so that you can align with what it is that you want. Goals help us align our priorities with our daily activities and eliminate what isn’t aligned. This means that you will have to say "No" to things that are not aligned with your direction.

Saying "No" can be really hard but agreeing to do too much - especially if it is not aligned with your direction - contributes to the feeling of overwhelm. As Warren Buffet said, “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything”.

If you have a difficult time setting goals, I have a blog called ABCs of Goal Setting which can help. 

Step 2 - Write everything down

Be sure you have a "storage system" for your thoughts, ideas and tasks. Either by hand on paper, or electronically, it's vital to take your thoughts, ideas and tasks out of your mind and into a recording system.

The reason for this is because your mind is not designed as a storage container.  This puts you at risk of feeling overwhelmed. 

I have three systems for recording ideas which I use interchangeably: a master list which I keep online, an electronic calendar, and a small paper notebook/planner.

Copy mine or discover your own, what's most essential is to use your systems consistently!  (Importantly, don't have too many systems:  if you have fifteen different planners and electronic files, that is going to add to feeling overwhelmed.)

Discipline yourself to use your systems consistently. For example, I check in with myself 1) every Sunday afternoon for "master planning," 2) every evening to prioritize tomorrow's commitments and calendar, and 3) every morning to review my calendar.

And if you have a family at home, it's a good idea to keep them informed and involved.

Step 3 - Be intentional about your days

Set yourself up every day in a way that is aligned with your goals. I recommend getting granular. For example, I typically set bold, meaningful 12 months goals and then also identify 90-day or quarterly goals. And I recommend this to my clients.

This helps me to stay focused on what I want to achieve this quarter, this month, this week and TODAY in order to move in the direction of my goals.

A word of caution:  It is important to have structure but also not to go overboard on structure. Too much  structure can feel oppressive. Allow some fluidity - especially for working parents - as sometimes you may have to pivot quickly. And build in downtown for re-charging.

When building new habits, it can feel messy and challenging.

Initially, you may feel more overwhelmed than in-charge. But keep pushing through the messiness because the discipline produced by these three steps will allow you to feel more in-charge and achieve higher performance.

And remember to maintain perspective:

"When everything feels like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top."

I'd love to hear from you!  What insights did you gain from this article?